ze 8 or smaller maybe. (I wouldn't know, I haven't seen a size 8 in 40 years!). She's sporting a youthful blond hairdo that dramatically belies her age - which happens to be 70! (I don't believe it either, but I read it on the web.) Most importantly, she is standing behind President Barack Obama as he signs this first piece of legislation of his administration into law - the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.It's an important piece of legislation and, as a woman, how could I not be pleased? But when things aren't going well in your own life, the accomplishments of others you admire
slams your head straight up against the wall of your own inadequacy. Lilly Ledbetter helped established legislation that will affect our daughters and grand-daughters, and I can't even find the other picture I want to post on this blog to show you her Erin Brokovich look of triumph over struggle. Oiy!
On this same day, my husband got ready to interview with a firm that hires software engineer consultants in Orange County. While he ironed the pants to his interview suit, tears rolled down my checks wondering why I couldn't the courage of a Lilly Ledbetter - why I couldn't even have the courage to interview for the sign language interpreting job I applied for just yesterday. Lilly Ledbetter took on the giant Goodyear and went to the Supreme Court! I can't even face going back to the classroom again. (In my defense, however, the Supreme Court might be a little less scary than a classroom of eighth graders!)
After an half hour of self-analysis and spouse-analysis before driving my husband to the interview, I had answers - not solutions, just answers.
It all boils down to bravery - to tolerating the ambiguity of your rightousness - to not worry that you might be wrong or inadequate, but to forge ahead.
So what do you do if you weren't brave in life? What if you are the cause of your own failure? What if you know you won't ever have the capacity to be that brave? Well, then you have only one option - you have to resort to the dark side, as in dark humor, the kind you find at places on the web like despair.com - the kind that says, "Perhaps the sole purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others."
